Falling.

Its a beautiful day outside.  Fall is just around the corner and maybe this year, instead of summer just freezing straight into winter, we can enjoy it a bit.  Kristin and I have always been fond of autumn.  The season seemed to always be the time when we would end up connecting again, no matter how long it had been.  This year we won’t have to worry about reconnecting, but it tends to remind us of when

 we met and that mushy stuff…so its a good time of year for sure.  Its also much more pleasant to ride your bike.

I’m also realizing that the hardest part about going back to school is rounding up all the necessary information.  Such as: Please list all the dates on which you took the SAT.  Um…uh….I have no clue.  That was ten years ago.  Sweet.  Because of this my test information has been “archived” which means good luck finding them and we are going to charge you a lot of money to do so.  Also since I didn’

t complete 30 credit hours my lone semester in college, I have to send in all my high school information and transcripts as well.  You would think that if someone who is in their mid-twenties wanted to attend your school and the one semester they went to college they did really well you would just let them in….but no…oh no.  Anyway.  I guess its not that big of a deal.  I’m just ready to get in there and start getting it all done.

Transitions…

It has been quite sometime since I’ve written here.  Things have changed a lot since I last visited you all.  The band I’ve played in and worked hard for over the past three years has dissolved.  Luckily this had nothing to do with band dynamics or relationships, rather a lack of progression.  A lack of success that would enable us to have our monetary and security needs fulfilled in a way that is fitting at this point in our lives.  It was a combination of squandered promotions, lack of management, too much touring with little to no reward, and a hope lost.  We could’ve kept going and recorded another record and toured more and hoped, but none of had it in us to try it all over again.

As you can imagine this was not a decision that reached a conclusion easily or quickly.  I can say that I really feel this is supposed to happen.  Its been an amazing journey and now its time to move on.  This change has been brewing in my heart for a few months now, but the finality of it all has been a bit overwhelming.  I’ve been going back and forth between excitement for the future and mourning a dream lost.  The pursuit of music as a vocation has been my only drive for about 9 years.  Now that I’ve found myself on the other side of the dream, I can’t help but question things.  Did I chase the wrong thing?  Is this what the “dream” looked like?  Why didn’t it pan out like I’d thought it would?  

I’m still processing all of this, but I do know one thing: I’ve been led to this point for a reason and in that I sit.  I come back to Sovereignty.  The beautiful reality that my story, my life and its is many different, sometimes confusing, parts masterfully woven together.  This is what I cling to as I move forward eagerly anticipating what He has next for Kristin and I.  I’m now realizing what the sense of preparation was for a few months ago. 

The next step for me is school.  I’m beginning the whole application process for USC and moving forward with that.  I’m really excited to get started.  I really hated high school, but I really enjoyed the one semester I was in college…so I’m ready to get on it.  I will keep you updated and will try to blog more consistently, I just needed sometime to process all of these changes.